Friday, August 1, 2008

hung up

Fifi is getting harder to get along with nowadays.. she expects more and more and she justs hung up on me.. well i could keep up with the expectations part.. been prepared for it since tt day.. but the hanging up on me part when im trying to sort things out is just too... arrrgghhhh!!! making me so damn pissed off now.. i mean tts like simply denying all my efforts.. i dunno how a call of concern can turn out like this..

but i just cant bear to scold her much.. maybe just tell her off a liiiittttllleee biiiittt.. just sent her a msg.. alrd regret sending it tho-.- im such a wuss haiz.. sometimes i hate myself for being like tt.. well what can i do, im in love with her=.=

i know shes prideful, she values her pride alot, and i cant just say sorry blindly anymore.. it doesnt work anymore jus by putting down my own pride.. well my pride dont mean much compared to having her by my side but if shes not willing to understand, i rlly feel like shiet, like a fool, like an idiot..

wonder what is she so angry about.. even if i made misttakes, isnt it good enough to realize and change-.- i jus don understand this part.. well nowadays i don know wheni can joke and when i cant.. sometimes the joke becomes real, and the pranks are getting more frequent.. sometimes i dunno which is which..and i dunno if she will be happy to see my surprises anymore..

shiet man im supposed to be studying for psycho test tmr... fifi always causes my heart to be in turmoil..tts bad but somehow good in a way.. at least its not empty.. i guess..

sometimes i do get tired.. but i cannot show it.. i dont want her to see it, i dont want this love to end.. ever.. shes the one who is tired, i cant be.. only 1 person is allowed to be 'tired'. i rather she be allowed to show tt but..

sometimes i feel it too.. but im not willing to give up, i wont give up..even if i need to rest.. i still wont.. give up i mean.. love is wat u make out for urself i guess.. i don think theres a trouble free relationship anywhere.. rite?

haiz.. just rmbed sim's advice from sometime ago.. i realized im so naive in my thinking then.. now i know.. that, is part of loving someone too.. even if its hard not to at tt time..

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Posted by hmmm.. at 9:07 AM