Monday, July 14, 2008

huh.. i hope im wrong..

found sth bad and wrong by accident today.. was looking thru my recylce bin to find my long lost playstation emulator. din find it but found 'that' instead.. i hope im wrong but it seems like my father was in there. if it really is, den y.. why.. i really hope im wrong.. i always tot tt no matter how ill tempered he is, he wouldnt do this.. had to hide this from my bro.. i don wan anyone to confirm my doubts.. at least now i can jus shake it off as a coinciedental similarity.. i hope its not true.. arrrgggghhhh im going crazy, cant stop thinking abt tt..

i cant tell anyone.. no, i don wanna tell anyone.. its too.. embarrassing.. don noe if its the right word to describe the chaos in my mind now.. why.. its not him.. right.. i always tot that i was quite fortunate compared to others.. but now.. maybe i'll tell the guys about it.. not sure about fifi tho.. its jus.. not right.. maybe i could.. try..

somehow i pissed her off or sth again today.. she seemed quite hostile and so different from yesterday and the 'normal' days.. maybe i should give her a surprise visit after sports club meeting, hmm.. scratch that.. bad idea.. guess she would'nt want to see me today.. and i don think i can put up a non-gloomy front today.. guess it would only make things worse..

mom jus came back.. she looks tired.. i shouldnt tell her anything yet right?? i better delete that again before she comes and take a look at the com.. im sorry mom.. i cant let u see that yet.. not until i confirm it myself.. not until i can at least accept the thing tt i found.. not until the truth is revealed before me.. but how am i gg to do tt..? and.. do i really want to do tt??? i jus hope that my bro doesnt go searching for the playstation emulator like i did and find that pic.. maybe i should delete it permanently?? but would tt put 'him' on alert? he should noe that he left it in the recycle bin..

and.. who is that.. in front.. looking at the mirror.. half..owrhNHPIGOargnwspiowrenha'oirgwpioe4gosndgowgwpiowipgonwapiognhonwpdsvklvdsnionhgsnigoibongojdsbfgoiwebngoeg

-HongGan- this is your new mission-

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Posted by hmmm.. at 2:44 AM